So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
