If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize