I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
