Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Farmville is her only friend.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
