i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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