I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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