There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
