he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
