just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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