I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize