As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize