When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize