How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
