I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
