Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
