so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
