he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
