I wish my penis had an off switch
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
