The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
