Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
