You just made me feel so damn special
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
