My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
