He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Small penises have feelings too.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
