and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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