Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
