i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
