His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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