forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
