People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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