i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
