Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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