I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
