Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize