hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
