You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize