i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
