She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
