went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
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