Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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