THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
