i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
