My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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