found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
