Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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