thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
