We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
