first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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