my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
