Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
