Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
