Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
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