I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
and she was petting her beer can
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
