just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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