Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Its about making memories worth repressing
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
